topiary cats

topiary cats

Friday, February 27, 2015

Right Association

Truth from my amazing friend and Angel, Mary

In Buddhism, there is something called 'Right Association'.

Basically, what this means be careful and conscious about the people with whom you closely engage with- relationships, friends, etc.

I read somewhere recently that our main influence comes from the top 5 (or was it three?) people we are in closest association with.  Notice I say "closest association"- this can be either positive or negative depending on the person.  It doesn't necessarily mean a positive relationship.  Often it is a very toxic relationship.

  • Are the people you are most closely associated with the kind of person you admire?  
  • Do they treat you well or is everything on their terms and they just feed off your energy?  
  • Do you feel weak or strong around them? 
  • Does their presence enrich your life and make you a better person?  
  • Do they genuinely care about you as a person and support you in your life, or do they just expect you to bend over and accommodate them all the time, with no regard for your needs and desires?  
  • Do they speak to you kindly or are their words unkind?  
  • Do they build your spirit or break it?  
  • Are they invested in you as a person, sharing joy in your success and supporting you in failure? 
  • Do they take responsibility for themselves or blame you for everything? 
  • Are they nice to you only because they want something? 
  • Do they feel entitled or do they share generously?  
  • Are they manipulative or genuine?  
  • Do they encourage you to develop your own inner strength and power, or do they just want to have power over you?

It is pretty much impossible to heal and be strong when you are closely associated with toxic people.  The people we are closely associated with can make or break us.

If you find no one to support you on the spiritual path, walk alone.
If you see a wise person who steers you away from the wrong path, follow him.
The company of the wise is joyful, like reunion with one’s family.
Therefore, live among the wise,who are understanding, patient, responsible and noble.
Keep their company like the moon moving among the stars.”

— Dhammapada (Words Of The Buddha)

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