topiary cats

topiary cats

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Love Sucks

One of the worst things about life is when you really love someone and they don't love you back.  It's one of those things I'm sure everyone has gone through at least once on some level.  Unfortunately I have a lot of experience with this- from family, friends, men.

Sometimes people pretend for a while, sometimes they don't. In any case, the only way to tell what is real and genuine is by actions, never words.  It is so hard to really love and care for someone who, for whatever reason, does not reciprocate.  It makes me wonder sometimes what the point of it all even is.

I'm too much of an emotional realist to play any pretend games. Besides, I like knowing where I stand, no matter what. I don't do pretend-love.  If I care about someone I will give them every chance- and then some- I'm no perfectionist by any means. I don't believe in perfectionism.  Not in myself and not in others. But I have my limits. And if there is no reciprocation, there is nothing worth giving my energy to. IMHO, it is definitely a loss for the other person. (Well, it's true.)

But that doesn't mean feelings go away, which can be really maddening.

I don't like going through it, and I don't like seeing people I care about go through it.  The other day my friend was hurting pretty badly and she asked me for love advice and perspective.  I told her what I really believe is the truth, and I think she knows it but needed someone to tell her point blank: "He doesn't love you."

I have become good at recognizing it.  Sometimes I have to help other people recognize it, and it is very sad.  It is not possible to love someone enough to make them love you back.  It has to be a dual effort. And those that would be loved, they miss out on something special.

1 comment:

  1. I've been in that situation and it is so hard to overcome, but it is worth getting over in order to have the space to find someone worthy of your love.


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