topiary cats

topiary cats

Saturday, November 01, 2014

Immobilizing Factors

Everyone has that one thing about them which immobilizes them from time to time, or more often.  It can be anything.  Fearfulness, anger- these are two common ones.  If you don't know what your Immobilizing Factor is, look at your go-to emotion or reaction to things.

Although I get scared and angry sometimes, like everyone else, neither of these predominates my emotions or character. It takes a lot for me to get really angry, and then it eventually works its way out and it's done with.   While there are things I fear- in general I will just walk right through fear. I have already been through a lot of Really Scary Shit and by comparison, well, most things just aren't that scary. Or I have reference points that are Much Worse and I got through those.  Or I know that what is on the other side of fear is absolutely worth it.   Or could be.

My immobilizing factor is sadness.  That is how I process things.  I hold too much sadness and one day it might take me down in one way or another,  I am so tired of life experiences turning into things to add to my Pile of Sadness.  I don't know how to change it.  I have already tried everything I know to do, and then some.

What is really ironic about this is that I know how to help others move beyond their own inner demons (If they want to). I can and will battle fear.  I can do energy healing. I can see patterns, and if allowed, I can assist.  I can feel others' pain in my hands and sometimes I can remove it from them. It took me a long time to understand the difference between my feelings and others' feelings- if something I felt was "mine" or not.

But I do not know how to drain my own well of sadness, which is all mine.  At this point I just want life experiences that don't add to it any more.

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