topiary cats

topiary cats

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Mostly OK I Think

I really am mostly ok.......I think........

Or at least I am mostly certain I will be ok, and that is just as important.

Yes I know my blog has been a bit heavy these days.  But it really has been helpful for me to sort myself out.

Lisa is right about me needing help though.  I do need help- with paying the bills (stupid rent increase %;#*(;^#), housework, dealing with Daya, and all the little things that just add up.

And sometimes we all need someone right here and now, in the present, to hold us up, even for just a few minutes.

However, I do not have help with any of those things, nor do I see this changing.  So I make due and get through as we women have done since the beginning of time.  Even though it takes its toll on us.

My goal is to avoid total erosion of my spirit.

That being said, I do have a lot to be grateful for, which brings to mind Nicole's Gratitude List.  Here are some Major Things I am grateful for, in no particular order:

My health, Daya's health, a roof over our heads, my job, oil paint, pastels, tea, my friends, meditation, my inner strength, living in NYC.  It is a wonderful thing to know you are living in the right place.

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Parenting is seriously the hardest thing in the universe.  In some ways it gets easier as Daya gets older and in some ways it gets much harder.

She will be 9 in a few weeks.  She is very independent, more so than any other child I know of at her age.  I have been coaching her on streets and navigation and strangers and safety since kindergarten.

She can take the school bus home and walk home alone, and stay home alone.  She can take the MTA bus from school to her dance studio by herself.  This is not something I talk about a lot as basically no one else lets their kids do these things alone and they think I'm crazy, but I know, really know- it is ok.  And it has been absolutely fine.

Jackie said something the other week to me that really meant a lot- she said "don't let anyone tell you she is too young- it depends on the kid."  And I really value Jackie's support.  She has raised two kids completely by herself and is a Queens native.  It meant a lot to me that she said that, instead of the fear everyone else throws at me.

I'm not careless, I have simply taken the time to teach my daughter some Life Skills and I know she is capable and trustworthy.

The downside of it is that she thinks she knows absolutely EVERYTHING.  But that is for another post.


1 comment:

  1. I can't say about big city living but here in the small town I live in my children could navigate the entire town on their own by the time they were your child's age. In my mind your corner of the world is navigable by a 9 year old. It just has more people to get through. I think children of single parents seem to pick up life skills quick if they aren't hovered over too much.

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