topiary cats

topiary cats

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Kid Fears

Daya is a very high anxiety child.  She can also be very negative- about life in general and herself.  I truly believe this is a personality thing, as I take every opportunity I can to teach her to think positively and have a good outlook.  It is something I consciously try and be a good role model for.

Being positive was something i had to learn; maybe she just has to learn it too.  I'm trying to teach her- in this she has more advantage than I did...I had to learn the hard way, on my own through life.

Sometimes I wonder if it is my fault though because of the traumatic pregnancy.  Maybe I transferred something to her that has manifested in this negative anxiety.

Or perhaps it is just a combination of her Scorpio Sun/Pices Rising.  That is a lot of Water.

It is my job to teach her how to deal with her emotions in a healthy way.  But it gets so desperately tiring as I always have to be stronger than her.  And she is a very strong child- which I am proud of but it is hard on me all the same.  She has to know she can count on me, she has to know she is safe. She has to know that she can throw anything at me and I will not crumble and I will still love her.  How can she know that if she has to be the strong one?  I will not allow it.  So I have to be extra strong all the time and I am so tired.

Sometimes I want someone to be strong for me, for a change.
I want to rest while someone else is strong.

At one point perhaps midway through my pregnancy I was at a gathering in the park with my ex and a bunch of people from his country and a few other acquaintances.  One was a high anxiety high-strung girl.

There was a child there who came up to us.  He told us he had a Gift- he was able to see into people and know their fears.  He looked at the girl and said "Oh, you are afraid of so many things!  Wow!"

He looked at me for a minute and said, "You are afraid of babies."  I laughed and told him all new mothers are afraid of the baby thing.  I also took him aside and told him he must act responsibly with his Gift.

1 comment:

  1. Parenting is just very tiring. I had 4 kids, and I was worn to a frazzle. I worked full time and had all that. I wonder how I ever did it. But somehow I did. Just try to find ways to pamper yourself along the way. It's so hard I know, but I bet you are doing a great job!!! :)


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