topiary cats

topiary cats

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Vector Cat

I have decided to make good use of the day at work to make a vector cat.

He's admittedly not great, a little rough around the edges, but since I am on a quest to absorb all things Flash, he was a nice practice experiment. He took me a long time. I could have drawn him in seconds with a pencil. Vector drawing takes me a while; I'm not quite used to it. Maybe a Wacom tablet would help but they're expensive and I am saving everything to move to Minnesota next year.

I am bored with this current stage of my life and the daily cycle. I'm bored with being single. I don't want to be alone anymore because I'm BORED of it. A different experience would be nice. I alternately love and hate NYC. On the other hand I can't really complain about the being single thing because I am putting ZERO effort into dating. I am saving as much as I can to meet my ambitious savings goal so I can leave the city next year and buy a house.

My apartment is a mess- yes I promise its a lot worse than your place no matter what you might say- and I have absolutely no motivation to do anything about it because the cleaning takes a long time and stays that way for about 20 minutes. Longer if Daya is not home. I love Flylady and I certainly could be a better housekeeper but if there is anything I hate it's doing the same thing over and over again without cumulative results or acomplishment. House cleaning is definitely NOT cumulative. A while back I felt depressed and thought that cleaning might help me feel better, so I cleaned everything spotless and I still felt crappy. So, the motivation isn't there. If I want to force myself to clean I invite people over.

The constant focus is on moving. For years I felt so trapped in this city, and I am glad to see a different future. And I won't raise a child here.

There is so much in my environment that is not congruent with who I am as a person. I can say I love nature how much but it's been YEARS since I spent any significant amount of time in it. In that way a deep part of me feels completely drained and I *need* to reestablish that connection.

I miss being in the art world. I have the temperament, ability, and mind of an artist and I work in a very uncreative environment. How did I get here? Being an artist is the single most definitive and constant thing about my entire life- and I haven't touched a paintbush for months. I have no portfolio of recent work to show. I wish I had a job that allowed me to grow artistically and paid me for it. But I suppose I'm fortunate enough to be able to do things like vector cat in downtime.

Maybe tomorrow I'll animate him.


  1. Do you have friends or family in Minnesota? It is such another COLD place for you! Why don't you move to South Florida like everyone else does??? LOL! Actually, I would suggest a mid-upper level of Florida...nice weather, and flat terrain all year long!!! You would be in heaven! So would Daya! It will be better to wait to date till you are where you are gonna be, for sure! Pay a housekeeper to come for 1 hour every week and pick up and wash...then late at night when Daya is can be a great artist!!! And show everything to us, the bloggers!!! Yeah...thats a good plan!!! LOL

  2. Where is our animation tonight???

  3. Or you could move to Australia!

    Have you chosen Minnesota for a particular reason? Family? Job transfer?

    It sounds to me like you really do need a change. Sometimes, I feel like just getting in my car, driving in any direction and ending up wherever I end up....then that thing called responsibility rears up in my face and brings me crashing back to reality. For now, I get my adventures through the books I read.

    Try not to dwell on the negatives...know that you have the power to create the reality you want....believe in it, feel it and it will happen. Can you tell I'm a fan of The Secret? lol


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