topiary cats

topiary cats

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Out of the Woodwork

I just got a call from an old friend/acquaintance. Someone I haven't talked to in over a year, and it was such a nice call to receive. He was also good friends with the ex.

He said the last he heard, which was a long time ago, the ex was managing a restaurant in Cape Town, and he had a major emotional breakdown/ reality check when he got back to Africa and cried for three or four days or something like that.

I do not feel sorry for him.

I trust him about as far as I can throw a train. Nor do I wish to have any contact with him whatsoever. I don't trust his breakdowns; I've heard that story before from him and even if they're genuine in the moment, I think they turn into part of his facade for people to pity him and respond to him. The whole Poor Me act. I just don't buy it. My friend didn't know about his plans for a next marriage.

What I think is that he's so screwed up and so used to thinking of himself in a certain way, so used to lying and justifying those lies in his mind. He has an astonishing ability to bend reality and truth to suit his perspective. He has a natural charm and charisma; a magnetism, a glamour.

Daya has it too and it's my job to teach her to use it responsibly.


  1. It's good you see those things in Daya and that you are going to help her use it in a positive manner not in the way "the ex" used it.

    Wow, people can really manipulate others can't they?

  2. Some traits are better than others. It's also on how you put them to use.

    My youngest son is very headstrong. I could look at it in two ways. In the future it might come in handy, it's something to admire. Some people actually envy others that have this trait.

    But for now it's a stress on me, because he is 9. LOL


  3. My 8 year old son is very strong-willed and it can be frustrating at times. I'm sure that, with your guidance, Daya will put her trait to positive use, unlike your EX.


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