topiary cats

topiary cats

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Kids and Adults

I think a lot about Daya growing up. Sometimes I get really sad about it, but I think that's a normal mom thing. I like Daya as a toddler. She's cute. She's fun. When I go pick her up after work, she throws both her arms straight up in the air and runs to me for a hug. I get sad thinking about how one day she'll be so different, and no matter where she may go and what she may do, I hope her life never separates from mine. I hold her little feet and wonder where they will walk, where will they go.

I know it's also a mom thing to look at everyone around us and realize everyone we see was once a little child. A cute toddler bouncing around. And at some point, that changes. Children become adults who aren't all that cute anymore. Some of them grow up to be adults that do horrible things to other people, to children. I see situations between a mother and her adult child where things have completely disintegrated. I think, how was this woman with her child when it was an infant? Toddler? Child? It makes me sad. Where and when did things go wrong? When did the child pull away? Why? Perhaps my own distant relationship with my mother plays a part in that as well. I don't want Daya to lack what I lacked in that relationship sense.

My approach to being in charge isn't so much to control Daya-I see my role more as managing her boundaries. Sometimes I wish I could see myself as a toddler and how was my daily life? How did my mother interact with me? I have a few clear memories but its not the same thing as observing behaviour. I do think kids are born automatically loving their parents/caregivers. I also firmly believe that the trust a child has in a parent is inherent in its beginning, but must always be maintained. I believe that while kids are, of course, forgiving, the trust that is established can be broken and dramatically impacted before the child is even of the age of remembering stuff.

Childhood should be a time that is safe, secure, and magical. With a backdrop of a constant presence of familarity and a lot of love. I hope I can somehow teach Daya to keep her magic as she grows up.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by!