topiary cats

topiary cats

Friday, January 12, 2007

Solar Plexus

I'm waxing verbose today!

Guess everything is ready to come out.

That uncomfy feeling? It's my solar plexus acting up again. It's nowhere near as bad as it was at this time last year though.

Let me explain. When everything happened and I moved out, something happened to my solar plexus. I don't know if I sustained some sort of metaphysical injury or it was just a manifestation of what I was going through, the fear and insecurity, but I had some really bad pain and discomfort for a long time. I'm not talking at all about physical injury- my chakra was somehow hurt or damaged in the front. And that hurts just as much as physical pain. It took a long time to heal- 7, 8 months.

So my solar plexus hurts now, again. Which explains why it's taking a while to go away.

*******
There's some scary stuff that happened that I never talked about to anyone...it's not the kind of stuff I can really discuss with people. Because its weird-scary stuff.

Things started happening around my apartment when the X started going crazy and being generally evil. I know that he was bringing stuff home, so to speak. Some of it on purpose. Looking back, I should have gotten SO MAD about that, most especially since I was pregnant. Except getting SO MAD would have been dangerous though, and I knew it, which accounts for my exaggerated passivity.

***
My bedroom in 204 had its own bathroom. The mirror over the sink faced out into the bedroom. As a rule, even way before I met the X, I never slept in a room with uncovered mirrors. They are doorways. I knew that. What I never had direct experience with was things coming through them. Something very malicious started coming through that mirror. I was awake and aware of it when it first happened. I felt it. I told the X and he said he'd take care of it. And he sort-of did, except his patch-up solutions never held up for very long. I saw his patch job on the dreamscape. It had hands and patrolling the barrier. But the patch job never held up long, and when things came broke out, they always did right at the 3am hour. I would have those waking dreams about it. The X had a katana that never shut up. Ironically enough, it helped me on more than one occasion. I don't know if any mystical kanji teaching still exists, but kanji can be used very effectively in energy work, much like runes. In lucid dreams, the sword showed me sequences to block the mirror-doorway. It wanted a kanji to seal but I don't have a kanji database in my mind. Eventually I broke the mirror with the sword in the lucid dream state, and things got much better after that.

Then, whatever was trying to get through hit the other mirror in the other bathroom. That was never as much of a problem, though.

**
My cat does not spook easily. One evening I came home from work and found her absolutely stark terrified. Her water dish was always kept in the bathroom in the bedroom, and it was knocked over, very far from its original location. The cat wouldn't go near the bedroom for hours. And she had to be coaxed back in gradually. I still never know what terrified her so.

**
Daya was born on a Wednesday. The Saturday before she was born I was home alone (as usual) . I had been home all day and in the evening went to the kitchen to make dinner. My kitchen sink was filled with bloody water. I was in shock;   Then, with no action from me whatsoever, it drained away.

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