Keep Reminding Me

Men visst eg veit ein morgon renn
då dødens natt skal enda
Min lekam opp or gravi stend
og evig fryd får kjenna

A Woman

My friend sent me this, and I think it's beautiful.

This is from the Talmud:

"Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears.
The woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on.
Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal.
Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved."

While I don't subscribe to the restrictions of religions, especially patriarchial male-dominated ones, and the coming from the rib thing is pure nonsense, the message here is really, really beautiful and so, so true.

I am such a geek

This is a pathetic confession.

The other night, I saw a link somewhere to take some grammar quiz. Because I truly do love grammar quizzes, (I am a geek) I had to take it.

At the end of the quiz I was asked if I am gay, straight, or bi. Did I even question "Why am I being asked that for a grammar thing?" No! I was too focused on getting my results.

Turns out the quiz was on an online dating site, which I have no interest in whatsoever, and I ended up having to spam-block them.

But I aced the quiz. Go me.

:)

Steam Room Musings

Time left 3XSQ: 11:38am
Time returned: 12:50pm

Not too bad. In the midst of the heat wave, I can be found in the pool, then in the steam room.

I've been going to the same gym for the last 5 years. Sometimes there will be a bit of a time gap between visits, but I always go back and resume a fairly regular schedule. That gym is the one place that has remained consistent for me these years, as I have gone through some intense life stages. My oasis of familiarity, in a bizarre way. It's a bit surreal being there, remembering the thoughts I used to think in the shower, where I would be going after leaving the gym, how I have changed and circumstance around me has changed, even how my body has changed.

Now its time to visit the gym again for another life stage and add a new set of Shower Thoughts.

Note to self: please remember your hair brush next time.

The Meatrix

http://www.themeatrix.com/

Normal is Relative and Probably Boring

Are You Normal?
Your Normalcy Quotient is: 29 out of 100. Your quiz results make you a Marvelous Maverick. You're a maverick and don't know what the definition of normal is. That's okay because you're now part of a fascinating group of desperadoes. Wherever you ride, it's sure to be off the beaten path because it's way more fun to find the path least traveled.

www.chatterbean.com/runormal/

HAHA.

You're Cute, I Love You

My friend Yumiko lives in Japan. She has a little daughter named Miu.

Today, I got a wonderful email from them. Miu's favourite things to say are "You're cute" and "I love you".

She also sent me some wonderful drawings. (Miu loves Halloween, and the movie Nightmare Before Christmas.)

That email made me happy.

Rat Memorial Vol 1

I used to keep rats. I miss them a lot. My cat never understood why I would keep rats when I had her. Now and then, the rats would inspire some poetry.

Haiku between the rats and cat:

I don't get it- Why?
Must they stay here for always?
My tail's much better

*Heee heeee heeee heeee heeee
*We're here nothing you can do!
*We don't like your tail

These rat creatures, they
make lots of noise and don't sleep
as much as they should

*Life is for living
*Lazy good-for-nothing cat
*You don't have a clue

Hey! Put that rat down!
I want to play it's my turn
Rats won't play with me

*Cat you'd better go
*and clean your fur or something
*Your play's not our play

Better than window
I can mess with them all day
with unmoving stare

*OOH it gets our nerves
*Bloody cat with glinty eyes
*You still can't reach us!

I am much cuter
I have style finess and grace
I don't fall off shelves

*You stuck-up cat you
*We saw when you fell off bed
*We are still laughing!

Dear God

Dear God,

I'm not perfect, but I'm a decent person. I've given a lot to people: time, energy, and money without asking for anything in return.

I am requesting a refund for certain large amounts of energy that turned out to be for something that was defective but I did not know it was defective. So I please need all that energy refunded to me.

Anyhow, I would please like this refund of energy in the form of a large sum of cash. Immediately, or as soon as possible would be really great, via a means that does not harm anyone in any way. That would be really fabulous.

I deserve this refund because I am part of You and I do good things. I am eternal, immortal, universal and infinite, and fun to be around most of the time. My capacity for abundance is unlimited.

Thanks for the amazing things You've done for me so far, they are all appreciated, even the things I don't know about or haven't happened yet. (But I have to ask what's up with that one thing?? You know which one...) Oh, and thank you so much that Daya wasn't twins. (Do I thank You for that too often?)

You're the best.

Love and kisses,
J

Comparisons

I find myself doing this, maybe its a little negative but I can't help it sometimes.

I find myself comparing my situation to other single moms. Especially, I find myself listing the things they have that I don't. For example:

-Child support/financial help**
-Family close by that helps out
-A car
-A dwelling where the child has their own room

But I also count my own blessings. I have:

-A (tiny) roof over my head. Not a great one, and I pay way too much rent for what I've got, but it's something
-A good job that I actually like and am good at with room for growth
-My health and relative sanity
-The capacity to financially support us, without any help
-A stable environment for the child
-Gratitude that I had the strength and resources to get the hell out

See? My blessings list is longer. That's good.

I do generally keep a positive mindset, I don't like feeling sorry for myself, and I really don't believe in being a victim. I do believe in taking responsibility for my choices. Some days are really hard, but I get through it.

Also, I know nothing about babies. In fact, mine is the only one I've ever been around. I never even played with dolls as a kid, I was much too busy playing in the dirt outside and having sword fights with my sister. And drawing. So if I'm really messing things up, I haven't got a clue that's what I'm doing. But the child is happy, and healthy, so I guess its ok. I'll try and screw her up as little as possible.

**I get a pathetic amount monthly in child support that doesn't even cover the cost of a month's worth of formula. I spend monthly on the child, on average, 12 times what I get in child support. And that's just for basic necessities and the babysitter. It was worth the trade-off, though, in getting him deported. Totally and completely worth it.

Sun in the Rain

Who said vegetarian children are smaller?

They never met mine.

My child eats spinach. And tofu.

Definitely my child.

More Rain

I love watching people in the rain. They all have such crazy reactions, they get grumpy, freak out about a little water etc...you'd think people never showered.

Rain doesn't bother me so much, especially when it's warm outside. What does bother me a little s getting a bit drenched then having to sit in very cold AC.

I need more chai.

Again

Maybe I'll start blogging again.

A lot has happened.

Life is different.

I am a different person.

Life is all about lessons, and in the end it's ok.