topiary cats

topiary cats

Sunday, December 31, 2006

2006

I am glad this is the last day of 2006. What a year it's been. Such a journey of discovery. One of those things that you know is necessary to go through but you can't help looking forward to being at the end.

Usually I don't make a big deal out of New Year's. This year it seems significant in some way. Perhaps it's because I am so optimistic about 2007, in other ways the end of this year is laying to rest my transition.

Circumstances bringing me and Daya into the New Year are good. My tiny tiny studio apartment feels so far away- this new apartment is wonderful. Financially I am moving into the new year with a little extra, and my financial planning for next year will have me and Daya in a good place. My goal is to completely eliminate the marriage-debt next year, and with the way things are going that is within my ability to do.

2007 will bring me finalized divorce papers. I wish that had happened this year but it shouldn't be long now.

******
In September of 2005 I had a dream that I was in a race at night, on horseback. A man lay by the side of the road, dying, and a woman was trying to save him. I stopped to help them and I healed the man. Stopping meant that I would not place first in the race. I finished anyhow, and a voice told me that I had won after all- not because I came in first, but because I had stopped to help the dying man. Then I was racing quickly and smoothly towards my destination, a dark tunnel towards the water and a boat. I could not see them but I knew they were there. Tiny pinpricks of light guided me at every step. There was light at the end, and bliss.

That dream gave me comfort and a solid peace when I had it. Though I was told by the Ex it meant my death in childbirth, I knew differently. I feel that I am somehow going towards that place of bliss, and I look forward to the next leg in my Journey.

*******

If I had New Year's resolutions, mine would be to make my inner peace and my outer behaviour congruent. I would like to learn how to go above everyday irritations. Often I find myself misunderstood, and I would like to come to terms with that and understand why. I wish for a solid peace to surround me.

How different would I be of I was out of this urban environment? That, too, will come in time.

True freedom begins in the infinity of the mind.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous3:48 AM

    Oh my goodness. I don't make resolutions, I set intentions, and I am so in love with your idea that I think I'm going to make it my intention: I intend to make my inner peace congruent with my seen behavior. What a beautiful goal.

    Hugs in the new year--good things are on their way to you and Daya, have no doubt. You are light in this world.

    (Also, am still interested in hearing about your experiences in your spiritual life, if you are still willing to share...ajaj*at*runbox*dot*com

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