topiary cats

topiary cats

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Evergreen Egberts & More Softies (PRT)

I went to Jerry's.
Because I was talking with Nancy and she told me she has Rosemary Evergreen Egberts and she loves them so I need them, too.

I could not disagree.

So I went to Jerry's.

Rosemary & CO makes the best brushes.  They are all hand-made in the UK. These brushes are works of art by their own merit.




Evergreen Egberts

Oh, I also got these lovelies.... I LOVE the Mungyo Semi-Hards so I got the Mungyo handmade softs.  These are lovely pastels and they will probably become my soft plein air set.

NOTE: there are different levels of "softness" with soft pastels. These are not as soft as Senns but are softer then Rembrandts. I like them very much.



Here is a little 5x7 test run on Colourfix.
I made it up as I went along which is very unusual for me.

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Rivet (PRT)

I have new neighbors upstairs.
They moved in about a month ago.

They are horrible.
I mean REALLY horrible.

Actually the old lady I spoke with twice was pretty nice but also completely silent.  Maybe she doesn't speak English.

Anyhow, the super told me the new tenants are a lady in her 30s and her father who is very overweight and very ill and is mostly in bed.

Huh.
I don't think so.

So, ok, why then are there THREE CHILDREN living up there and both children and adults stomp around in hard shoes on the wood floor constantly AND THEY MOVE FURNITURE at all hours.

This morning their crashing and banging woke me up at 6am this morning, and I sleep with earplugs in. The crashing sounds like heavy furniture falling.  Repeatedly. It scared the crap out of Furball.  Poor kitty.

My apartment is shaking. Literally, shaking.


WTF are they DOING up there????

I have spoken with the super, I have spoken with the tenants twice, I wrote to the landlord.
After I told the tenants that I was notifying the landlord about the THREE CHILDREN those kids disappeared pretty fast.  The super told me they are not supposed to have children living in that apartment.

However, the hard-shoe stomping and insane crashing and furniture moving in the middle of the night contines. So it is once again time for me to engage in Sonic Warfare.
I will win; I always do. Because I am more insane than they are.

Here is what you need in order to succeed at helping your neighbors understand just how dreadful it is to live next to, or in this case, under them.

1. Bluetooth speakers  (I don't think the new tenants are clever enough to hack my signal like Olga did.  If they do, I'll resort to old-school wiring.

2. Your old iPhone, in airplane mode with bluetooth turned on.  What a WONDERFUL use for my old phone!  All my files are on there (I only need one) and I can blast the BEST FUCKWIT NEIGHBOR SONG EVER without needing to employ another device that I am actually using.

3. Duct tape.

4. Connect through bluetooth, control with your old iPhone.

5. Blast.

The only song you will ever need

Friday, August 26, 2016

A Serious Accomplishment (PRT)

Yesterday was one of those ultra-bizarre days that starts out normal but just is...not.
I left the office to work from home around 11ish or so.

Here is the email I sent about it to my manager.
His response is the Best Ever.

__________________________________________________________________________

From: **** Jessica L. (Financial&Risk)
Sent: Thursday, August 25, 2016 12:38 PM
To: **** Mike (Financial&Risk)
Subject: spare parts required


Mike-
I seem to be having one of those days that goes well and normal enough until random freak things happen.

I lost a contact lens, don't even ask me how.
My mind went blank and my lens was just gone.

It is possible that i shifted to an alternate universe for a second and left my contact lens there.

Anyhow, I'm not as good at doing the one-eyed work day as I was 15 years ago- it gives me a massive terrible horrible headache.

So I am home and have repaired my Vision Assembly Complex with a spare lens.

Am working as normal. (on FXT. and OrgID mp4)

Thanks,
Jessica

__________________________________________________________________________

From: **** Mike (Financial&Risk)
Sent: Thursday, August 25, 2016 12:41 PM
To: ^^^^, Jessica L. (Financial&Risk)
Subject: RE: spare parts required


I have received many off the grids emails in my years on this planet, but this one just got itself into my top 10. Congrats!

Glad you can see better and working the rest of the day from home is fine.

__________________________________________________________________________

From: **** Jessica L. (Financial&Risk)
Sent: Thursday, August 25, 2016 12:45 PM
To: **** Mike (Financial&Risk)
Subject: spare parts required


I have reached new personal heights and accomplishments!

See, I told you I was stranger than Timothy.

Thanks bud :)

_______________________________________________________________________________________

I consider it a blessing to have a manager who has a very high tolerance for insane people on his team. I'm not the only insane one, our whole team is pretty loony so this is an accomplishment!

I truly do not know how I lost my lens.  I have no idea. It is just gone, maybe I blinked and it popped out and I didn't notice (though I always notice when that happens...)  It will forever remain a mystery.

August tried to eat my lens, I think.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Assorted Oddities & Sundries (PRT)

1. I have an eye dr appointment on September 7th.  It is my yearly which I was supposed to go to in July. I called at the beginning of August and couldn't get in earlier.  There are 2 floaters in my left eye which I'm pretty sure weren't there before this week.  Floaters in eyes like mine are normal but these are new and really irritating.

2. Yesterday after work I had a lovely walk over the 59th street bridge.  I only got almost- killed by two (2) insane bikers which is pretty good. The bridge had an odd absence of marijuana smoke too, which was surprising.

Towards Queens

Towards Manhattan

3. When I got off the bridge i was going to get on the train and head home, but being outside was just so nice I decided to walk until I felt like not walking anymore.  Normally I head directly down Queens Blvd.  Unfortunately there are some Really Not Nice spots of QB and I didn't want to walk there.  Instead I decided to go along Northern Blvd......which is much, much better. I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner.

I am not prone to panic
but thanks anyhow, sign

4. I really don't have words for this. THANK GOODNESS this is not the school Daya will be attending, since I got it switched.


5. Is this about the painter Anders Zorn?????? Or, rather, his son?  Did Zorn have a son?  He was a fantastic painter.



6. I love this picture.  :)
    (I didn't take it)



Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Infusion (PRT)


Ecce crucem Tolemac
Fugite partes adverse
Vincit leo de tribu Juda
RADIX AMORE 
Alleluia


Sometimes energy can get stuck to us and it needs to get cleaned off.
Yesterday I had that anger energy stuck to me.

My issues aside, I know myself and when I give something space, and I acknowledge and vent it, and it is STILL there. something else is going on.

Nothing has happened in the present time to cause me to keep holding that energy, nor is it serving any kind of positive purpose. It is messing up my energy.

So it is either a bit of energy that attached itself to me because I was a vibrational match, or it isn't even mine at all. I don't think it is mine because it feels different than when I am upset due to my own triggers. (This can be a hard thing to sort out if you are energy-sensitive and haven't learned to distinguish what is yours and what you picked up from someone else.)

In any case it has to go. It needs to expire, leave me. I need to get my energy vibration out of the mud and raise the frequency. Sometimes this is difficult.

When I need a really quick and effective energy cleanse, meditation, a bath, and Archangel Michael is a generally effective combination. Oh, and exercise. And maybe a Triple Grid.  It's like a massive infusion of high vibration energy that clears out all the junk.  Like a good shower.

The point is that in order to change your vibration you have to go and get higher vibration energy from somewhere else.  If you know where to go this is pretty easy. It is everywhere, available for everyone, at all times.




Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Anger (PRT)

Wow, I am really angry.
It has taken me by surprise.
I really dislike being angry, but I have to allow it to run its course.

My post yesterday.....corporal punishment is a really inflammatory topic.

I was wondering why I feel so angry, and then I figured it out.

I am feeling angry because there has been so much extensive research on this subject and ALL of it says that corporal punishment for children is harmful and not as effective as non-corporal discipline.

So with that being the case, my very strong stance in this matter is not based on my own subjective opinion.

It is factual research.

If, then, this factual research exists, why don't people embrace it to learn better ways to communicate with their children? BECAUSE IT IS BETTER FOR THE CHILDREN.  Facts.  Not opinions.

If this was definitive disease research people would insist on it.
So why don't we insist on it for the health and benefit of our children and families in general?

The research is there. Tons and tons of it.

Why aren't people willing to change their behaviors and learn new, better skills- for the benefit of their kids? When supposedly their kids are number 1?

It is true that an attentive parent will know their child better than anyone else and people have to make the decisions that are best for their families.  What is a correct choice for one family is not necessarily correct for another.

But to me, with the extensive factual research, corporal punishment as a parenting strategy is on the same level of feeding your kids soda and McDonalds every day.  It is NOT healthy no matter what people want to hear or accept. Again, not opinion, it is factual research.



Monday, August 22, 2016

Positive Nonviolent Discipline (PRT)

PROLOGUE
This is a really rambly ranty post. I set out intending to be concise but that didn't happen.

START RANT
A friend of mine shared this Facebook video.
I watched it once and I can't watch it again, it has got me so upset.

PLEASE take a moment to look at these pages which are a starting resource to change understanding of corporeal punishment and learn non-violent approaches to dealing with conflict and discipline.

It is NEVER ok to hit a child. 
There are far more effective ways to correct 
and manage your kid. 
Hitting them is "justified" violence and bullying.
It is abusive.

Nothing, absolutely nothing will ever convince me otherwise.
This video really hit my nerves and my heart on so many levels.

*********
I don't believe in punishment.
I DO believe in consequences.
I DO believe in discipline.

Punishment is making someone suffer because they did something "wrong" so they have to be intentionally hurt because of it.

Consequences are the natural outcome of one's actions, positive or negative.

There are, of course, times when a person must be disabled of their ability to commit acts which hurt themselves or others.

But I want to talk about children right now, not adults, not criminals.

*********

The child in the video was definitely needing correction and guidance, and he's probably a smart-ass but beating the crap out of him is just awful.  That's not going to solve anything.  He'll learn that when he is an adult it will be ok to hit others smaller and younger (or his girlfriend/wife)

He has also learned that he cannot get help or protection, that because he is a child he can be bullied by those in authority.

This is a horrible message at best, and a very dangerous one at worst.

AND- No one is willing to assist the mother in learning better parenting skills.  

She doesn't know any better.  She needs help too!!!

*******
It certainly is very possible to be a parent instead of a friend and never hit your kids.
I'll never be parent of the year (or even parent of the day) but I do think Daya is a great kid and she pretty much listens (almost always on the important stuff) and we don't have a lot of "discipline" issues. We DO communicate a whole lot and I never hit her.  I can't even consider it, not even hypothetically. I don't mind being scary but I can't stomach the thought of hurting her.

Perfecting the Terrifying-Lazer-Mom-Stare-of-the-Apocalypse is imperative.
It's ok for kids to be a little bit afraid of their parents. But not because they will get the crap beaten out of them.

Daya absolutely HATES the Terrifying Lazer-Mom glare.
I'm so good at it that several times she has stopped whatever she was doing just because she didn't want "The Look".

I am good at being non-violently scary.
Daya regularly tells me I am scary.
But I never hit her, ever, and I never will.


PLEASE DO NOT HIT YOUR CHILDREN

END RANT

EPILOGUE THOUGHTS
During the writing of this blog post Daya was in the bathroom and she knocked over the cup that has all my makeup brushes. I went in to see what happened.  It isn't worth getting mad over.  Accidents happen, it's not a big deal. Daya had to pick everything up, and when her friend goes home she has to wash all my makeup brushes.  I'll show her how and then she has to do it.  That's all.

All kids need guidance and correction in order to (hopefully) become decent human beings who are an asset to society. When I need to, I take away privileges such as electronics or computer time. Daya lost her $20 metrocard so she had to pay for it with her allowance.

If Daya starts having academic problems in school due to either skipping school or not doing her work, she knows dance will be the first thing to go. (She got a straight A report card so I am not too worried about school)

Occasionally (not often) I get REALLY MAD at Daya.
She remembers these times much better than I do.
I was furious when she lost her phone this past May. Because she didn't follow the phone rules I must have gone over about a thousand times...., (Keep your phone charged, keep it in your purse when you aren't using it)  So, yeah, I was really furious. And I said so and she sure knew it but I never even thought about hitting her.

***********
Yes is yes and no is no.
As parents we definitely need to make threats sometimes...the trick is to never make a threat you aren't willing to follow through on. And TALK to your kids.  Communicate with them in an age-appropriate way.

You CAN reason with an 8 year old.
You CANNOT reason with a toddler. They do need immediate feedback but they don't need the crap beaten out of them, ever.

*********
I had a notorious troublemaker child over once, he was acting terribly. I informed him his mother was goig to know about it.  This child (he was 7) looked me right in the face and said "What's she going to do? Smack me and yell and say not to do it again? I don't care. It's not going to work. I'll just do it again."

This was a child in desperate need of enforced boundaries.
His mother once yelled herself red in the face at him for 20 minutes about how he wasn't going on an easter egg hunt, then when he calmed down she started packing his things to go.

I said "What? You just spent 20 minutes telling him he can't go."
She said she would feel bad if he missed out.
And she regularly hit her child.
Real effective.



Sunday, August 21, 2016

The Universe Imploded (PRT)

8:27am, Sunday

I am out of tea.

Well, no of course I am not out of tea but I am out of any sort of good standard black tea, except the decaf I got at Trader Joe's by accident.

While I do have the wonderful Tea Brick that Carey sent me  I have to grate it and I don't want to grate it right now.

I am in shock. I still don't believe it, though it really appears to be true.
The irony is that I found a HUGE box of Twinings Irish Breakfast last week in Manhattan.
I bought two (2) boxes AND THEY ARE BOTH IN MY DESK AT WORK.

I could run down the block (I certainly will later) but I'm not mentally prepared for that.

So I need to wake up with Twinings Mixed Berry Black Tea.



********
I started a painting last night, oil.  Here is the first layer, just a block-in, a map.
The goal is to finish this month.



Saturday, August 20, 2016

I Can't Even. (PRT)

Bob Ross has taken over the oil painting forum. Again.  Sigh.
This does happen from time to time, but it has been worse than usual lately.

Someone wanted to compare Bob Ross with Richard Schmid.

Now, you have probably heard of Bob Ross but not Richard Schmid, which is a damn shame.
Go take a few minutes to look at his work. Right now this second.

Richard Schmid is one of the most masterful painters still alive today.
His work belongs in museums, and I hope one day he gains that institutional esteem.
Especially because he kept doing extremely skillful art despite the modern art garbage that took over everything.

So, someone wanted to compare the work of Bob Ross with that of Richard Schmid.
Ok, here are the similarities:

1. Oil paint is involved with both.
2. Bob had cool hair and Richard has a cool hat.
3. The End.


COMPARING
BOB ROSS TO RICHARD SCHMID
IS LIKE PUTTING 
YOUR 4TH GRADER'S VIOLIN CONCERT 
ON THE SAME LEVEL AS 
A SYMPHONIC PERFORMANCE OF MOZART.


You do not compare those things.  Why not?
Because they aren't on the same level at all in any way so they cannot and should not be compared.
Comparing Bob R and Mr. Schmid should not be done for those same reasons.



People always say, "Oh but Bob got me started, he made so many people love oils...etc etc."
And it's true that Bob exposed many, many people to painting in a positive way.

Bob is like that beginner teacher you loved madly but taught you such horrible technique (if any) that your next teacher who worked with you had to un-do everything you thought you already knew, and you didn't like it because you loved Bob and his Happy Trees soooo much because messing around made you happy. It didn't matter that you couldn't play (or paint) AT ALL.

There isn't anything wrong with that, but it is most certainly NOT painting in any kind of formal or serious sense.  So there is no comparison. It is an insult to those who have dedicated their lives to furthering their artistic development.

Bob Ross is entertainment first and foremost. Not true, learned, practiced skill.
He personally might have had some...I read that he painted outdoors in Alaska for years.  He also studied with and ripped off Bill Alexander's gig. So, ironically, all those Bob Ross knock-offs everywhere...he himself was a knock-off!

His work is generic, easy, superficial.  It appeals to the masses because it is easy.
It is easier to read at a sixth grade level than a college level.

************
It is impossible to explain the underwater depths to someone who has only ever touched the surface.

The surface is all that exists to them. They don't know any kind of depth because it is beyond their comprehension. They are content and satisfied with the surface, the easy, the generic.

They cannot recognize anything else nor can they consider it in their scope of existence/evaluation. It isn't that they aren't capable, it is that they have stayed superficial and "safe" their whole lives. So that's how they evaluate everything.

Those of us who live in an artistic underwater AND on the water AND above the water existence can only shake our heads at the complete ignorance which abounds.

*********
I don't care if this post is snarky or snobby or whatever.
It's my blog and I'll snark if I want to!

*********
PS Comparing Bob Ross to Richard Schmid is like comparing those amazing flat screen light boxes to Crayolas!

Friday, August 19, 2016

Survivial (PRT)

Here is what my house altar currently looks like.



I was asked recently, "Why the knife?"

For as long as I have maintained an altar (since college) I have always had a knife of some kind on there. Not including a blade would be incomplete.

The blade on there is an outdoor survival knife, and I got it just a few months ago.
Adding this knife felt very appropriate.

It isn't a fancy or expensive knife, but it is extremely useful for outdoor survival, and it is also extremely sharp and durable.

******
I have done a whole lot of surviving, and having to figure out how to survive, throughout my entire life.  Aside from painting, it is pretty much the main thing I have been doing.  A whole lot of surviving. Childhood survival is different from adult survival.

Life has just unfolded like that. I haven't had the luxuries of options and support that so many assume and take for granted.

On the other hand, being dropped in the metaphorical woods of life alone has been as much of a source of freedom as it has been a restriction.

In that way, my (relatively) new survival knife is a good symbol of how I am relating to myself.
I am very good at surviving.

But I'm still not sure it is worth it.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

The Struggle is Real (PRT)

I had a friend recently complain about watercolor pencils. She thought she was doing something wrong, that it was her fault they were difficult to use and she was not having good results.

Naturally, I asked her what kind of pencils she was using.
(Being an art supply whore means I have ALL the art supplies)
She replied she didn't know, they were just some really cheap-o pencils.

Well, no wonder.

It is extremely difficult if not impossible to get the same results with inferior materials. There are some exceptions* but in general you will have to fight a whole lot harder to get cheap materials to do the same thing as professional materials, if you can pull it off at all.

*I have heard of some professional illustrators who only used Winton oils, for example....Winton is a student-grade oil paint (Winsor Newton).

It is much better to get, for example, a smaller set of really good pencils (like Derwents) than a large cheap set. 

There is a reason that student grade/cheap materials are, well, cheap.
That's not always a bad thing and of course there is a need for a lower-tier range.

I used Winton in college, because I had no money.  Everyone said "You know that's crap paint, right?" and I said "You know I have to do my homework and I can't afford anything else, right?"  However, no one ever offered to relieve me from my crap paint and replace it with good paint.

When I was out of college and got back into oils, I went professional grade. Little by little. And when I started painting with them I said "Whoa!!"

There is a huge difference. A totally different experience.  Yes, it really is that big of a difference.

Let's look at Winton cerulean blue (PB35).  
37ml is $9.28 at Blick with a list price of $14.99.

Cerulean is an expensive pigment and $9.28 is a great price- especially when you look at the WN artist range where a 37ml tube of PB35 is Blick-priced at $18.30 with a list price of $36.59.

You are paying for the pigment.  There is a LOT more pigment in the artist range, and because of that, the paint will handle and mix completely differently.

(We are ignoring the winton "cerulean hue" because it is not really cerulean, it is a mix of pthalo blue and white.  Imitation.)

A 37ml tube of Williamsburg PB35  is Blick-priced at $38.15 with a list price of $69.53.  Williamsburg is amazing paint and it has even more pigment than the WN. This is very high pigment load paint.

So, there are variations even at artist-grade.
You don't have to use the Williamsburgs or Vasaris.
Anything artist-grade is fine. Whatever budget permits.
Gamblins, WNs, Rembrandts...all of those artist grade paints are just fine.

But student paint?

Just say no.

Monday, August 15, 2016

Strangely Serious (PRT)

I read an exchange recently in which a good friend of mine shared a photo of her new light box. ****

One of the responses to my friend's post referenced a Crayola toy light box they had purchased.

To which my friend (rightly) replied, "This is not a toy."

I totally get that. Our supplies are our tools.  They are not toys.  I am exactly the same way, very oddly serious about my art stuff. (It's like calling soft pastels "chalk". Please don't do that.  Ever.  They are not chalk.)

It's a bit strange, because we artists are playful people.  We have wacky ideas and we do have quite a lot of fun creating. But our tools.......... there is something serious about them. Perhaps it is that we don't approach them casually. Sometimes they are expensive; sometimes not.  It doesn't matter.

Either way, to me at least, I don't have a casual relationship with my tools.  I play with them, but they are not playthings. They enable me to make art and to function creatively. They are my raw materials. I need them, and I love them.  I learn from them.  I respect them, and I have put in quite a lot of time, money, and effort to get to know them intimately.

They are such an intrinsic part of the most important element of myself, my life- which is my art.


My Dinosaur Light Box

**** I have serious light box envy.  In fact, I have been oogling those beautiful flat light boxes ever since I saw one on the front of the Jerry's catalog...last year I think.  I have looked at them online AND in-store. Several times.

The only issue I have with getting one is that I already have a light box- a dinosaur relic from last century I got at Pearl Paint on Canal Street...

...and in the last 12 years or so I have used my light box exactly zero (0) times.

For the work I do, I don't need a light box.  Watercolor artists, especially illustrators, definitely need one. 

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Mad !! Tornado (PRT)

I am so late on Mad! Tornado. But now it is done!!

The Ominous Slinky-Tornado
Pastel on Colourfix
ACEO 2.5x3.5



Friday, August 12, 2016

Painting and Wet Cat (PRT)

Here's the painting from Wednesday.
It's ok, I guess. There are things about it I don't like so I need to analyze it more.
Also, I dropped pthalo blue in my gear instead of ultramarine.  I don't like pthalo blue, it is too much.
Maybe that's my biggest problem with the painting.

I'm always looking at what to do differently.
I overworked the sky.

6x8 oil, maybe 45 mins or an hour or so I think.



*****
Isis has been so miserable in the heat, even with the AC on.
She is such a big floofy furcat...too much fur.

So last night she was whining so much I stuck her under the shower.
she didn't really mind and I know she felt better because she started acting normal again.



I also wet the rats down because they are moping around more than usual.
They don't care about getting wet. 

Munchie and Q-Tip are getting old.  They are starting to yellow the way PEW-rats do. 
They are starting to show their age, though they don't act like it.




Thursday, August 11, 2016

Reservoir (PRT)

Despite the dreadful humidity, I went to the top of the reservoir in Central Park last night to throw down some paint.

Oddly, the humidity wasn't nearly as bad by the reservoir.

Here is a little 6x8, oil.
I need to take a better pic.


The light started out overcast......


......then cleared up. 
This is typical of uncooperative weather for plein air painters.

 West Side

East Side

Path off the reservoir

Trees
I like the way the light hits them

Clouds

I had some lovely company.



On the way home, some idiot climbed the Trump Towers with suction cups, causing a massive traffic disturbance on 5th ave.

The R train went into rebellion.  Daya's look is priceless.
The MTA installed these massive touch-screen displays in many stations.

They are always wrong.

Way to go, MTA!

Where is the R train???????

Tuesday, August 09, 2016

Crappy Things (PRT)

I just found out that my Aunt Barbara died yesterday.

When my mother essentially kidnapped me and my sister and took us to Georgia, my Aunt Barbara was one of the people I missed the most.  She did some really terrible things (I found out later) but she also did some really awesome things and I wish I knew her better.

I wish that hadn't been stolen from me.

***********
I hurt someone.

Someone who doesn't deserve to be hurt by anyone, ever.
He gave me his heart too soon............ but I kept mine......... and then life happened and I feel so shitty.

This is the first time I have ever broken someone else's heart.

My heart has been broken so many times and I never ever wanted to ever do that to someone else.

I will carry it with me, I take responsibility for it.

Even though it is the right decision.

Monday, August 08, 2016

How is it Monday? (PRT)

I'm so bad... I still haven't finished Mad Tornado.  I'm sorry Carey. :(

Yesterday I had a lovely day up at Oyster Bay on Long Island.
Beautiful clouds, beautiful water, and lovely company.

This is probably the *fingers crossed* nicest PRT I have had in....maybe forever.
I'm in a transition, so is Daya. I am transitioning out of the last 10 1/2 years.

The Little Kid Days are over. I am SO relieved, and that's probably not a "normal" perspective...but it has been so brutal on so many levels and I NEED to transition out. My experience and circumstance has not been a "normal" one so maybe it makes sense. I have been so alone and running on way-beyond-empty for so long. I'm numbed out. That is not good.

There are things about myself I'm not sure about that I need to find out.
I don't know if I have been too sanded-down from years and years of abrasive days and so much personal loss to the point where I don't know what is just normal growth and good evolution, or if I have gone through too much erosion.

It's kind of like I don't know what condition I am in, and I need to look at myself in a different light- in the light of change- in order to assess and evaluate. What is polished and what is worn away, and whether that is a good thing or not.

I need to find out.
It will take time.

Anyhow, Oyster Bay was lovely and there were swans.  I would love to go there and paint.
I deeply love the water and I never again want to live somewhere inland with no water, especially the ocean, close by. And the Hudson River.















Wednesday, August 03, 2016

Mens' Room Drama (PRT)

We ladies are most often accused of drama, and while that can certainly be accurate, the men do it too.  Differently.

This morning my (lady) coworker told me a story her (man) co-worker told her. He went into the mens' room and someone had left poop on the floor.

Now, we work in a pretty nice, mostly-clean and very well-maintained office in Times Square. So this is not the kind of thing one would expect to find.... well, anywhere, but REALLY not here.

We were both pretty shocked and realized there were 2 different scenarios: the person was either alone in the bathroom or they weren't.  Either one is equally disturbing.

*****
This afternoon my friend came over to my desk to say hi. I related this story to him, and he was also shocked.  Then he said it must have been a retaliation effort.

*****
Not too long ago, the building put in new towel dispensers.  They are those wave-your-hand-in-front kind.  They are terrible, actually, and they don't work very well.  No one likes them.  In the ladies' room, one of them never works.  But we ladies either use the other one, or just wave a bunch of times until we get paper.

Not the men, apparently.  They keep vandalizing their towel dispensers. Breaking them. Taking them apart,  So apparently the building is mad about it and keeps posting threatening signs that anyone caught breaking the paper towek dispensers will be fired.

Someone apparently had something to say about those threats!!

*******
This is, I think, a perfect example of the way ladies and men handle things.

We ladies keep on being annoyed and just live with it, gripe, and bitch.

Men break things and leave (literal) shit on the floor.

HOWEVER: it is nice to know that most* men really do wash their hands.  
*according to my friend


They really are awful.

******
There is a stupid amount of construction happening in Times Square.  It is insanely annoying.  You can't really go anywhere.

I had to go up to 51st to run an errand, and I didn't have my metrocard. Otherwise I would have taken the train down one stop to avoid the construction and tourists.  But I had to walk it.

Tourists DO NOT KNOW HOW TO WALK.  Walking in NYC is an art form.  It is all about opportunity and timing.  The timing is very important.  In order to keep traffic moving, YOU MUST KEEP MOVING. If someone is coming the other way JUST KEEP MOVING. We NYCers know the timing.  We will not bump into you.  You might bump into us, but that's your fault for getting the timing wrong.  

KEEP MOVING.

Sunday, July 31, 2016

One More Day

Pigeon Risk Time (PRT) officially starts tomorrow.

I am tentatively...... very tentatively.....hoping that we have finally gone from horrible to bad to neutral to.... dare I even say it?
Positive.

Please join me in skipping August completely.
PRT seamlessly integrates as an alternate time to avoid Bad August Things.

Think of it as a time-mod.

*******
Yesterday I took Daya up to my old neighborhood in Astoria, where my first apartment was.
I took her to all my old spots, and to Astoria Park to stand by the water.

There was a lovely wedding party taking pics in front of the water, they looked so beautiful and happy and I hope they stay that way. I hope they defy the odds.

Pics are looking over the East River at Manhattan.
I love my beautiful city.










********
To cryptically answer yesterday's questions...re: amazing... ladies, use your imagination.

That is all.

Saturday, July 30, 2016

This Man

.... is amazing.



Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Sharp

It is so odd how there are so many things that just roll off me, and then something very small and meaningless hits me in a sharp way.

Does it matter? No.
Does it have any real bearing on my life? No.
Does it make me think it is part of a pattern of interactions I keep experiencing? Yes.
Why does it matter with this specific person? I don't know. That's what I have to look at. The circumstance, I guess. Words spoken. I actually believed it. And I wanted a friend.

People always change their minds.  They say one thing, nothing happens (that I am aware of), and then their minds just change.

I'm done.

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Mad! Super Color

I came home yesterday AND THE HEAT WAS ON.
THE HEAT.
WAS ON.
IN 92 DEGREE WEATHER.

The building's sensor was zapped or something and it is controlled by a computer in the landlord's office. Which mistakenly switched the heat ON in heat-advisory 92 degree weather.

It was worst pun ever NOT COOL.

********
Carey said our theme is Super Color because she is very astute and she knew somewhere in her maze-mind that I have Diane Townsend fluorescent pastels. They are obnoxiously bright.

That's how cool Carey is.  She knows Things.

If this is not super color then I do not know what is.

Melting Tree
ACEO pastel on colourfix primed watercolor paper



These things are so fantastically bright 
they almost hurt your eyes.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Unsorted

I'm trying to figure myself out which is probably not possible this time of year in this awful heat. I'm such a heat-wimp.  Cannot deal.

I had no AC when I was pregnant and that was beyond terrible. I might have heat-related PTSD from it. (although my stupid ex had no problem installing an AC in his girlfriend's apartment that summer..................)

Summer is just so awful.

*********
I'm having really odd dreams, which is pretty normal for me but last night I had a wacky time-travel NYC dream.  It was the 1800s I think. The stores and shops looked pretty cool and there was a particular family that had just moved here from Somewhere Else.  They had no money so they did what everyone does- they found work. In a shop. the girl- the daughter- met a man and was engaged to be married.  During the work day there was a problem with the water in the shop, a flood, and the girl got soaked and caught a chill. She needed to get warm (still at work) and no one would help her change into something dry due to religious beliefs about a baptized Christian woman (which she was and they were) not having her chest bare.  So she died right then and there from wet cold while they all stood around with their stupid religious beliefs and refused to help her when it would have been so easy to do.

******
Being awake is no less odd.
I'm trying to sort out why some people (ok person) have (has) been a Big Deal and yet, someone else who is really awesome (truly) and "now" just isn't.

I'm trying to work out why the person who was a Big Deal was so because maybe a couple of times in a lifetime you meet someone you connect with like that and why this other awesome person (who really is fantastic) just isn't a Big Deal. And it seems so very, very wrong and messed up that life is like that.

Or maybe I lost the capacity...maybe it got burned out or bruised or it just quit and died, I don't know.

******
To make this an even wackier post, you can use rubbing alcohol with a brush with panpastels.  It works especially well with the metallic colors.

Keep cats away from panpastels, they have messed up a few of mine. I don't know what it is about cats and panpastels, but keep them covered and away from cats.

Cat Damage.
There is a cat claw hole in 
the bottom pink pan (not pictured)

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Well DUH

SUMMER IS DANGEROUS, people...avoid at all costs.

Notify NYC

Notification issued 7/23/16 at 7:33 PM. The National Weather Service has issued an Excessive Heat Watch for NYC for Monday, July 25 from 11:00 AM until 6:00 PM. An Excessive Heat Watch means that conditions are favorable for high heat indices to occur, which can be dangerous to health. Avoid strenuous activity. People without air conditioning, older adults, and people with chronic health conditions are most at risk. Cooling centers will be open. More info: http://www.nyc.gov/beattheheat or call 311.

For the latest weather information, visit www.weather.gov/nyc.

Saturday, July 23, 2016

Energy Shift

Sometimes I'm really slow.
Too slow. I take too long.

Then, I start saying these things to myself and I answer myself, "Hey- but you have had this, this, and that to deal with."

And I say to myself, "You know, you're right. and it is a lot."

And I tell myself to be nice to me because of all the stuff I have had to deal with.

I have been very brave and sometimes a little unexpected fun is nice.
It's sad that my heart isn't there, I know where it is unfortunately but I do need a little more fun in my life.
So i'm ok with it.

Sometimes a little fun is what we need when we don't have what we really need and want.

Spider-Cat Kid

Daya has turned into a Spider-Cat.




Friday, July 22, 2016

Mad: Mist

I'm late on the theme again because I have a terrible case of summer lethargy.
Summer is the most dreadful season and I will be so glad when it is over.

Here is some misty snow.
8x10 pastel on Richeson sanded paper


Thursday, July 21, 2016

Pink & Middle School & More Flippy

Daya got on the Pink Team, which she wanted.

We also went down in person to get her into our preferred middle school which we are not zoned for but really should be. They looked at her straight A report card and the rejected appeal and immediately registered her and stuck her in the honors program.

While waiting to start middle school, Daya flips around and walks around on her hands.


Thursday, July 14, 2016

Fuckwit Neighbor Update

So, this is pretty funny.....

1. They moved the piano. Olga thought she was so clever to hack my bluetooth speaker signal but I prevailed with good old-fashioned wires and plugs.  I guess they got sick of my sonic revenge and the piano is no longer a problem.

2. I was chatting with the super the other day and I mentioned Olga had moved the piano. The super said he thinks something is wrong with Olga mentally (duh!).  And apparently her upstairs neighbors left music on for ONE NIGHT and she went nuts over it. The super said it wasn't even that bad, and it was a one-time incident. (It prob was loud but one night is just one night.)

I'm pretty sensitive to noise but I only consider it a problem if it is a chronic thing. Something not chronic is ok.  It ends.  Not a big deal.

3. Last night after I posted my ice cave, I got ready to sleep.  I went in the bathroom to brush my teeth. My window was open and I heard commotion in the courtyard behind my building where all the stupid teenagers hang out. They are loud and annoying but I can't hear them with my AC on.  And they haven't been as bad this year as in previous years when I had to call 311 every single night. (Though that hangout spot is problematic and the police show up fairly often)

Well, Olga was freaking out at them.  Not out the window, either- she actually walked around the block to the other building to go yell at them in person. The teens are residents of that building so they weren't trespassing.

When I say Olga lost it, I mean she really, really lost it.  She was ranting and yelling crazy things at them, and was louder than they ever were!  ALSO Olga allows her two kids to play back there during the day!

One of the girls told her to go to the psych ward. They were still yelling when I went to sleep, but I couldn't hear it anymore over the AC.

And all I can say is....


OH THE IRONY!!!!!!

Mad!! Ice Caves!!

My ice cave is late even though I started it last week.
pastel on colourfix primed paper, 5x7

Carey and I just happened to do almost the exact same composition!!

Also, I think the whole point of Ice Caves was for me to use my iridescent Senns.  Obviously.